I'd Prefer Boredom, or Possibly Death
by Ppleater
Summary: Fai manages to convince Kurogane to take Sakura to an amusement park. what will they do when they find out there's a feather there? Can they possibly pay the price? Pure crack and father/daughter shenanigans.


I love Kurogane/Sakura father daughter fics, don't you? They just make me melt. So yeah, that's what this is, Yaaay! Warning, Kuro-tan is quite the swearer, even in front of Sakura, so if you still want to keep your virgin ears, turn back before it's too late!! Hinted KuroFai in here, because my life would be empty without KuroFai.

This kind of just morphed into crack without me telling it to, so please forgive me. Oh, and this switches between the POV of Sakura and Kurogane.

Disclaimer: Kurogane, Fai, Sakura, and Syaoran all belong to CLAMP, and so does my soul.

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Sakura was totally and utterly surprised at herself. She even felt a little ashamed, though she reasoned with herself that it was perfectly normal, and that she shouldn't be. But she was.

I suppose this merits explaining.

Sakura was bored. Purely and utterly with out a doubt bored out of her mind.

Why, you might ask, is this bad? Why should she be surprised or ashamed? It's simple, she was bored of watching Syaoran's training, and she felt very, very bad. But Fai was cooking, and Mokona was helping, so she couldn't exactly do anything else without being rude or feeling guilty. Kurogane stood off to the side, crimson eyes watching Syaoran move through various self stamina exercises.

"Ah, looks like Sakura-chan is stuck watching Syaoran-kun do stuff without her!" a cheerfully smooth voice rang out behind her. She jumped, blushing, and turned to see Fai stepping onto the backyard porch, Mokona on his shoulder. Syaoran looked surprised and was about to straighten from his current stance, but one look from Kurogane stopped that. He had to complete the exercises. Sakura blushed some more and felt guilty, but Fai just laughed merrily. "Sakura-chan, I'm sure you'd like to do something better than watch this!"

"Oh no! I'm perfectly fine Fai-san!" she stammered, not wanting Syaoran to know she was actually very bored.

Fai clicked his tongue, "Don't worry Sakura-chan, I heard there was something called an amusement park around here, and I'm sure daddy can take you there! After all, Syaoran can do exercises by himself by now!"

There were instant protests; one from Sakura, saying she didn't want to trouble Kurogane-san, and about five or six from Kurogane, saying the "damn mage" was a "stupid idiot", and that he should "leave me out of it!". Fai of course paid no attention.

"Go ahead Sakura-chan! I'm sure Kuro-wanton would love to take his daughter to the amusement park! Right daddy?" he smartly reached down and turned Sakura's head so that her watery but somewhat hopeful eyes were pointed in Kurogane's direction, shining like beams of destruction.

Kurogane didn't have a chance.

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Kurogane was definitely going to kill the damn mage as soon as they got back. He was going to find a tree, and he was going to find a strong piece of rope, and then he would string that stupid idiot up by his toes. And then he would take a stick…

His thoughts were interrupted by a tug on his sleeve, and he glanced down to see Sakura looking up at him imploringly. She was pointing at a ride that looked like it caused back problems and smiling, her cheeks pink with expectation.

"Um, Kurogane-san, the man at the front said this was the most fun out of all the rides!" she smiled, eyes sparkling. Why a princess like her would want to ride something like that he'll never know, but then again he supposed Tomoyo-hime would probably want to ride it too.

"Fine." He grumbled, folding his arms. Sakura clapped her hands together once, then grabbed his sleeve again, pulling him with her to the line. He tried to keep his distance, but Sakura was naturally a touchy feely person, and she was also a bit nervous now that people were staring. They were an odd looking pair, a really tall, dark, red eyed, scowling, brooding man, with a small, pink wearing, hair-pinned-up-with-a-barrette, wide-eyed girl hanging off his arm, gawking openly at the huge rollercoaster.

By the time they had gotten to the front of the line he had heard various whispers ranging from "Is he a pedophile?", "Is that his sister? They look nothing alike…" to "What a cute daughter! I wonder what the mother looks like." That last comment annoyed him the most. How would they react if they learned the mother was a man? Wait, what was he thinking, acknowledging Fai as the mother? That would imply that they were a couple or something… He strayed away from that though, his frown deepening.

The man who was watching over the line stopped them for a moment, smiling greasily down at Sakura. "Why hello young lady!" He said, reaching out to put a hand on her shoulder. He stopped though, when Kurogane growled warningly at him, red eyes narrowing. "Ahem, have you heard about the contest?" he hastily asked, snatching his hand back. Sakura shook her head, oblivious eyes shining with excitement. "Well, the person who rides this rollercoaster the most times in a row wins a fabulous prize!" Sakura gasped happily.

"What's the prize!?" she asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Kurogane decided that girls got excited too easily.

The man looked over his shoulder then leaned closer as if disclosing an important secret. "It's… This!" He wiped something out and held it front of her face, revealing the item as nothing other than the princess's feather. Kurogane groaned inwardly.

He was seriously going to kill the mage when they got back, preferably using his piñata method.

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Sakura decided right then and there that she hated roller coasters.

She had thought it would be fun; after all, that's what the man at the front had said. But she had discovered soon enough that that was a lie.

"Damnit! Stop screaming in my ear or I'm gonna go fucking deaf!" She heard Kurogane shout at her over the wind, but as hard as she tried, she just couldn't stop shrieking as they flipped and turned and did loopidy-loops like an angry dragon. Kurogane wasn't really having a problem with the speed, but he was definitely not having fun. She assumed that was because of the fact that she was digging her fingernails into his arm so hard she was sure she had drawn blood. She would have felt bad and apologized, but she was too busy trying not to die horribly of a heart attack.

She wished that she could have gotten used to it by now, seventh time the charm right? Haha, no.

"Argh! I told you to stop screaming!"

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"Oh wow! Fifteen times!? That is quite the number!" The greasy man was saying, eyeing Sakura in a way that was certainly unhealthy. He couldn't really do much though, seeing as the poor girl was so dizzy Kurogane had to practically carry her through the line. He grimaced at the unpleasant man.

"So did we win yet or what?" He asked sourly, wishing he could fold his arms to enhance his displeasure. Sadly that would involve Sakura tumbling to the ground so he refrained from doing so.

"Oh no, but you are so close! You're actually tied with our other contestant!" The man cheered, pointing behind him at another pair of people.

One of them was unmistakably the smug thin face of Dr. Kyle from Jade country and Piffle world, glasses and everything. He was standing next to a poofy haired girl who was looking uninterestedly at Sakura and Kurogane like they were nothing but flies on the windshield of her life. Sakura gasped audibly, and Kurogane smacked a hand to his forehead.

"Oh hell no…"

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The two pairs were lucky enough to sit one behind the other at the very back of the coaster, Kurogane glaring daggers at the back of Kyle's head. Sakura was sure that whoever was unfortunate enough for Kurogane to glare at them like that was sure to wet their pants from dread, figuratively speaking.

She felt the familiar vertigo grab her as the dreadful ride started up, but she had finally taught herself not to scream, much to Kurogane's relief. However, as the cart gained momentum they could hear a dreadful wail start up just in front of them. And it was definitely female.

Sakura traded an astonished look with Kurogane as the sound wobbled from one octave to another, sounding disturbingly musical, and she strained her neck, trying to see around the back of the seat. She couldn't see the girl, but she could see Dr. Kyle's profile, and he looked horribly embarrassed. She couldn't help but giggle at that.

Beside her Kurogane sighed, "Why does everyone have to scream…"

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"And we have a lucky winner!" the man shouted at them as they came out from the exit. "You rode thirty three times, and your competitors only rode it thirty two times!" various people clapped in a slow bored fashion as Greasy held up Sakura's hand. Kurogane glanced over at a bench, where the girl (apparently her name was Xing Huo, Kyle had shouted it when telling her to stop yowling) was leaning heavily over a trash can, her green face trying futilely to repair her holier-than-thou expression from before. She was failing hilariously.

Greasy smiled widely and handed the feather to Sakura, gasping and instantly pulling away when it sank silently into her chest and she collapsed, being deftly caught by Kurogane from behind.

"Wh... Wha…?" the ride man sputtered in shock, but Kurogane just scowled at him and picked Sakura up, carrying her away. He was about to leave when he saw a familiar bunch running towards them.

Apparently Fai, Syaoran, and Mokona had decided to meet them at the park, because they had changed into clothes more appropriate for this world. Syaoran's eyes widened when she saw the unconscious Sakura, and he sped up, dashing at them while courageously and ineffectively shouting the girl's name. Kurogane grunted unhappily and deposited the little princess into the boy's arms, his angry gaze traveling to the lanky blond coming up from behind.

"Waah, Kuro-pon! Did you find a feather here?" Fai purred, poking Kurogane in the chest. Kurogane growled down at him, about to snarl a reply, when he got a sudden, evil idea.

"Hey mage, have you ever ridden a rollercoaster?"

END

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Haha, this turned into pure crack by accident, and I learned that Xing Huo is remarkably easy to make fun of! Is that how you spell her name? I can't really remember… I think its right… Oh well! I imagine that Fai would have a bad time riding that rollercoaster over, and over, and over again, mostly because with how thin and lanky he is he would get whiplash real bad. Kuro-banana is thicker and sturdier, like a big cuddly bear, so it wouldn't bother him. He just doesn't like people screaming, it hurts his sensitive ears.


End file.
